As I sit here, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, a cacophony of concerns, and a jumble of jobs yet to be done. I feel silly. I have more than I need in every category. I am rich compared to so many across the country, much less the average of other countries across the globe. And now I think maybe I understand what Jesus said in Matthew 19:24, “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” (ESV). Here I am, a fat camel drowning in the eye of a needle, in a tiny spot of water made of so many things that I don’t need. I’m overwhelmed by the ‘too much’ and ‘too many’ of life, and yet, paradoxically, I find myself unable to say no to more. All of this is costing me focus on the King of everything.
I’ve tried too much, invested too much, started too many things. And despite it all being too much, I can’t seem to stop. I feel like I could turn myself inside out, and I still wouldn’t be enough.
In the midst of this storm, I hear a still, small voice. It’s a voice I know well, a voice that has been with me through every triumph and trial. It’s the voice of God, whispering to my weary soul, “I am enough.”
God’s words ease my frazzled nerves. He reminds me that He is the King of All, and I don’t need to strive so hard. I don’t need to be my own god of ‘too much.’ I don’t need to make myself feel like I’m not enough.
In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (NIV)
These words resonate with me now more than ever. I realize that I’ve been carrying burdens that God never intended for me to bear. I’ve been trying to navigate life on my own, forgetting that I have a Savior who can calm any storm with a single word.
I know the problem, and I know the answer. I’ve been spending too few moments with God. I’ve been so caught up in the ‘too much’ and ‘too many’ that I’ve neglected the One who is more than enough.
It’s stupid. It’s demonic. It’s prideful. And I’ve had enough. (again) So, I decide to let go. I focus on multiplying the ‘too few’ moments where I consider how much God loves me. I reach out from the whirlpool in the eye of this tiny needle—yeah, I’m beyond mixed metaphor at this point, I know, but it’s how I feel—I turn my focus from this tiny little stressful kingdom, and grab hold of God’s hand, focusing on Him.
I try to spend moment after moment, day after day, in the presence of God. Because there’s no such thing as too much of God. Only precious moments of which, right now, I have too few.
As I make this decision, I feel a sense of peace wash over me. I feel the burdens lifting, the storm calming, the whirlpool receding. I feel God’s presence enveloping me, reminding me that I am enough, not because of what I do, but because of who I am in Him.
Maybe I’m still a camel staring down this ultra-tiny hole in the needle, or maybe God will trim away the fat until I’m a mite on the camel’s back, able to pass through the needle with little trouble. All I can say is that, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the ‘too much’ and ‘too many’ of life, I encourage you to let go too. Lean on God. Remember His words in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”